ABOUT ME

Well my friend asked me to write something about my life in summary because she will be featuring me in one of her blogs and it's all about little heroes…

First of all, it boggled my mind quite a bit because in the first place, I am far from being a hero.  But how can I refuse a very good and long time friend whom I also look up to. Dang, if not for you, I wouldn’t do this….hehe!

I have written some bits of my life in my blogs.  Yes, with an "s" because there's a lot to mention but this time, it might be the right time to write something ABOUT ME which is something that I always get a pause at, every time I start a blog and asked to put some text on those ABOUT ME page.

Born in May 30, 1976 - I want to recall the events that were significant in my life as early as the day I was born, but am not successful with it since am already 34…hmmm…naaah, let's just generalize things 'coz going back memory lane seem to be difficult now with me, having undergone so many anesthesia shots.

MY ELEMENTARY YEARS - I was raised most of my elementary years in Del Monte, Bukidnon (Camp 9, Libona) where my father worked as a Field Supervisor. We had so many friends and really lived a country life. Not to mention that I sang in our community which made everybody know me. Every year, every occasion, I was that little girl, singing songs of Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Regine Velasquez, and of course, my idol at that time was Sharon Cuneta hehe!

MY HIGH SCHOOL YEARS - I lived my life in Cagayan de Oro City where I studied in St. Mary's School. This was part of my life where me and my sister lived away from our parents, but was staying with our ever youthful aunt. Every weekends, we try to go home but there would be times that I am not able to because I belong to a band and we sing. This was also the greatest time of my youth since I began to have crushes, get head over heels with boys, and have crazy fun with my classmates.

MY COLLEGE YEARS - College life is different. I felt that I was isolated since in my freshman year, I already had a boyfriend-Dennis. Although I still continued singing with my friends, my world was really built around him, I should say, but he also showed me how fun it is to be just ourselves.  In school, I only spend time with my close friend 'Honey' aside from Dennis who was also my classmate at that time. When I come home from school, I have my boardmates though who were soooo much fun to be with.

MY LIFE IN TOTALITY - I considered my life as plain and simple as it is until the time I got married with my only boyfriend - Dennis. We expected a life of happiness, contentment, love, and of course, fun with our kids. For me, one daughter would be enough for us to give her all the best in life, but yet, we were blessed with another daughter who made life meaningful for us. My eldest daughter is Maia.

MAIA FRANCES - giving birth to her made me realize that I am truly a woman. It's like being complete and fulfilled despite that 9-hour duration of my labor pain before giving birth to her normally. At that time, we would just stare at her and measure her with our hands until we noticed that she was growing so fast. Along came Robin Faith after 2 years and 9 months.

 

ROBIN FAITH - I was 6 months pregnant with her when my OBGYNE saw through ultrasound that she had an enlarged heart. It was concluded that it was me who had the problem. I had SLE Systemic Lupus Erythematosus. 2002  was the year where I truly experienced the deepest and darkest moment of our life as a family. We were bombarded with so many challenges that we thought we, as young parents couldn’t withstand.

HER CONDITION - Doctors were preparing us for the worst situation. It's either me or the baby who will make it. My relatives chose for me to survive, but this was my baby and prayed to God that he gave her to me, so shall she be born and I will survive too. She was to be inserted with a pacemaker and despite of having no financial capacity, at 2 years old, Robin and my husband were able to fly to New York for her pacemaker implant. This was some highlight in our lives since The Gift of Life - Rotary Club of New York sponsored everything. My blog about this: http://cfmedrano.wordpress.com

DENIAL - a year before Robin's death, we were already made aware that she had cardiomyopathy. We flew to Manila to get a second opinion and still had the same results. We couldn’t take it because it doesn’t show in her face that she was ill. She was the healthiest patient in Heart Center in our own point of view though. It was also because she never had cyanotic tendencies like the other children. We just went on through life with her medications and regular checkups until a month before her death.

PAIN - Robin was in pain for a month. She was losing weight, she was irritable, she was always tired, and coughing. She had asthma and medications are not working already. All I could pray was to let her pain go away. I want to bear the pain she was having. I want to simply get it out of her system and have me suffering instead. I could not see her like this forever….

PRAYING - on the day of her death, in the emergency room, I was just praying for the Lord to take away her pain and let me accept. Let me accept is all I can pray and was looking for a priest immediately. I sat down outside the chapel of Mt. Carmel in Carmen, staring at the sky, grasping the sunrise as we brought Robin in the hospital 4am in the morning. I couldn’t understand things. I thought I was just in the middle of a nightmare.

 COPING - we arranged to have a short vacation after Robin's burial in Mantangale, Alibuag Dive Resort which was my close friend's resort. We spent a night there but ended up singing in the karaoke, crying. Maia did enjoy her swim there since she was still 7 years old and couldn’t understand the things that might have happened.

TRYING HARD - me and my husband's way of coping was entirely different. He was so open to talking about the incident and sharing those wonderful years with our daughter to other people who were also close to us.  Because he was also friendly and gets to meet other people from his workplace, he openly talks about it. Me on the other hand was never like him. Even hearing her name made me cry and I never talked to anybody but scribbles from time to time on my friendster blog. Dennis went to the gym and I took a short term course in LPN.

STILL COPING - it's been 4 years since Robin died, but things are not the same anymore. It's like being in a basketball team that lost one team member.  It's like losing the other pair of slipper while walking.  It's like a knot with some loose ends. We are just incomplete. So incomplete.

GETTING BETTER - we still grieve and I know that personally, I will forever grieve. Now, I am acknowledging it and ready to face others who might be open and willing to listen to my story. My husband's way of coping now is through running. He is into sports and training to become an iron man in the future. He dedicates his run to Robin in heaven and Maia and me here on earth. He runs at 3am in the morning every day and alternates it with biking sometimes. He took up swimming lessons and continues joining different marathon events.

MY WAY OF COPING - again, my way of coping is different. Aside from my Goodie Box Crafts, I want to organize a fun run to help indigent children especially in our place with heart problems, I want to give medicines to cardiac patients in NMMC, a tertiary hospital where I experienced during my duty hours as LPN that parents couldn’t even afford to buy mineral water, and I want to educate parents with children who suffers from heart problems.  In summary, I want to be the Lord's instrument in helping families who have experienced the same way we have with Robin.

FIRST BABY STEP - it was so fulfilling that we were able to celebrate Robin's birthday last August 31, 2010 by giving food and medicines in the cardiac unit of NMMC hospital. The Purple Heart's Club (metrobank's foundation) helped us with providing medicines and I wrote a separate blog for this.

THE FEELING - it was like hitting the jackpot…yes, this is where I am happy.  This is where I am fulfilled.  This is where I want to be - helping other kids. Although I get teary eyed when I see and hear their story, but it is just oh so rewarding in my part. Dennis also loves the idea and it also made Maia happy. I can't wait to do this again. I know the Lord will help us find funds for whatever we want to accomplish. It's as if we are also making Robin happy by doing this in memory of her.

 ROBIN'S HEART FOUNDATION - our family dream…..

….to help indigent children with heart problems

….to provide patient support

….to educate families with children who have heart problems

….to create a website that offers help to indigent children with heart problems

 

 SWEET DREAMS MY ANGEL
Go to sleep my Angel and dream of heavenly faces
    and heavenly places
You shall be missed my Angel but take your rest
In this world, you could easily get hurt.
Don’t fret my Angel, you are safe in God’s arms.
He will take care of you and will always be with you.
Mortal dreams of riches but my Angel,
  you are rich for eternal life.
So sleep now Angel…
        You are full of love and beauty.
   We will all be with you soon…
       Sweat dreams my Angel…
      WHEN YOU WAKE UP,
                         YOU WILL KNOW
                                        THAT YOUR DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE!